AVOIDING LOVE – AVOIDING LIFE

Nothing that we avoid ever goes away, we will spend our lives avoiding it, and that will be how we live. If we don’t want to avoid something for the rest of our lives, we need to deal with it once.
Many people withdraw their feelings from each subsequent encounter being hurt. Each time that they are hurt, they withhold more and more of themselves from being vulnerable to feeling. As time goes on they give less and less of themselves to life and to their relationships. Those parts of themselves that they have pulled away are stored in a void, a place of emptiness. Feelings are the food that the soul exists upon, pain as well as joy. When we hide our souls from experience, deprive it of what it needs to grow, to expand. Sooner or later the pain that we are avoiding pales in contrast to the emptiness that we are feeling. It is the avoidance that causes us our suffering.
We feel an absence of joy in our lives, but we don’t understand why. When we avoid emotional experiences we not only lock away our souls, but we forget where they are, or how to release them. We deprive our souls the very food that sustains them, which is feeling. We allow them to atrophy. We lose our connection with them. Even when we enter a relationship, we do not permit our souls involvement. We handle it all on the ego level. The other person involved feels that nothing is being shared. There is no soul-to-soul connection, only ego to soul.

We make impossible demands of those with whom we are involved to guarantee our feeling of security, and in doing so we drain our partners until they pull away. We are left still hungry, still longing and still in pain. Although we are unable to give of ourselves we are still looking to receive. Yet since we are leading with our ego, we cannot receive. We believe that if we do not open ourselves we will not be exposed. We measure what we give, to convince ourselves that we are loving, but we are not giving, we are merely demonstrating because our heart is not involved, we are not letting anyone in, and we are not giving freely. Our partner sees that we appear to love but the feeling of openness is not there. Our partners sense that they are being tested and that acceptance is constantly conditional. A loving relationship requires a presumption of trust. Without the presumption of trust there can be no freedom and without freedom to be oneself, there can be no exchange of love. When we are protecting ourselves from being hurt, or being betrayed, we are never being there, never present in the moment or in the relationship because we are always watching for signs. Always ready to run or to attack first. So we can’t feel that the other person loves us, not because they don’t, but because we don’t trust being loved and so, we do not allow ourselves to experience it.

Love when true comes from a place that is open and vulnerable. It comes from the soul. This is the place that we do not let anyone or any feelings near. Love cannot flow in if we are not open. So our emptiness just keeps on growing and since we are giving nothing comes from us that is not measured and noted on our ledger, nothing given to us is allowed any closer to our hearts than the balancing column on our ledger. Our hearts remain empty and we tell ourselves and others that is because we are not loved. We remain empty. Only need flows from emptiness. Although need feels like love to those who are needy, it only feels like a drain to those in to whom it is flowing. Love gives to its object – need drains from its object. When we allow the pain of our past to be program that guides our lives, what we will continuously get is the same outcome. It means that our automatic pilot says love hurts. Regardless of the mantras or affirmations we repeat, the program is the program, don’t give until you are certain, don’t open up until you have a guarantee, don’t give more than you receive, and above all, don’t let down your guard. It does not matter what our conscious mind is saying, or what we think that we are giving, the moment that we feel vulnerable – the program runs and end result will be pain, caused not by the other person, but by our programmed belief that it is inevitable. So long as we believe in our subconscious that loving equals betrayal, or pain – our subconscious will ensure that we create this outcome. To feel joy and love we must be vulnerable and to be vulnerable means that we may also feel pain. The secret is that absence of feeling is as painful as any hurt that can be inflicted by others.

There is no way to avoid being hurt as long as we live. When we refuse to open ourselves for fear of more hurt, we are also locking the hurt that we have already experienced inside. This hurt is locked in the darkness and as anything positive flourishes in the light, anything negative flourishes in the dark. So we are not protecting ourselves only hurting ourselves. Pain can only be healed by love and forgiveness. As long as we live we will be trapped with our pain inside and the cure outside. There is no avoiding this. We can avoid loving but we cannot avoid living. Life does not allow us to hide; it finds us wherever we are.
It is imperative that we experience life with every fiber of our being. We must embrace every chance that we are given to feel. What we can do is avoid expectations of life, or of love. Each time something comes into our lives that has the ability to bring us an emotional experience we must embrace it. We have to understand that it will enrich us and increase our capacity for love. However, we cannot hold on to it. Allow the experience to be lived for the moment without strings attached to it or expectations of tomorrow. If it is still there and it is still good tomorrow, we should experience it all over again. If it is not there anymore we cannot think in terms of what we lost, only in terms of what we have had. The love that we give becomes a part of the giver; it becomes a part of the fiber of our being. It is ours forever.
I have been loved, I have been left, and I have lost and found again. Yet my life would not be as rich as it is has been had I not been open to the possibilities of being hurt as well as being loved.

We are here to experience. As long as we live we will experience all sides of all things. To everything there is a season under Heaven. While we are here we are to experience all of the seasons in our lives. These experiences are what living is all about. Each person, each situation that comes into our lives is a gift as well as a lesson. Who we are today is the sum total of these gifts and lessons. These experiences make up our colors.

Yet what we must understand at all times is that it is all experience, and all part of our journey. I am who I am, that I am, regardless of how someone else experiences me. If I make a mistake, I experience that mistake, I never become that mistake and I must never be afraid to start again because we are made as much from the times that we fall as from the times that we get up.

We all need love, and to avoid it because we are afraid of getting hurt is sentencing ourselves to a lifetime of pain. We must immerse ourselves in each experience, but detach ourselves from the outcome. It does not matter whether or not something will last, we must be grateful that it is here now. We don’t even know how long we will want to stay. What matters is that something is giving our lives extra color and extra meaning today.

There is no such thing as failure. We do not have the information to determine if traveling this path that we choose was meant to lead to our destination, or if the traveling of it is the destination. We will always be rewarded, sometimes the pot of gold is not on the other side of the rainbow – sometimes it is the rainbow. Somehow, we have to except that it is all right, every direction is the right direction. We always end up where we are supposed to, and with what we are supposed to have. The thing is that unless we are open and our hearts are available, we usually miss the best views and overlook the greatest gifts. It is like the joke about the man whose house was flooded, who believed that his faith was in God. A police boat came by to rescue him, and he refused because he was waiting for God. Neighbors on a raft came by to rescue him and he refused because he was waiting for God, finally a helicopter came by to rescue him and again he refused because he was waiting for God. When he ultimately died, and faced God with the burning question of why God did not save him, God replied, “I sent a boat, a raft, and a helicopter – what more could you ask for?

We must open to each day as it comes, not as a continuation of the last, but as a new beginning pregnant with new possibilities that we must be open to take advantage of. We are co-creators with the Universe by its’ design. If we do our part, the Universe will do its part. If we do nothing the Universe will not stop throwing us balls, but if we treat them all as bombs and duck – we will never know what we could have.
Remember that it does not matter what happens to us in our lives, or even what we experience, we are always passersby. For example, when someone succeeds they may be called a success by the world, but they do not become a success. We are always in the process of succeeding sometimes we are on the top and sometimes we are on the bottom, but as long as we keep moving we are succeeding. Therefore if one fails, they do not become a failure, for most every person who has succeeded has also failed. Yet we immediately identify ourselves with outcome of each experience. The sentence of our lives ends where we place the period. We can place it where we fell, or where we rose. Or, we can know that there will never be a period, only an occasional comma so long as we are open to life.

We see ourselves and many times each other not as who we really are but as the product of our last experience. So long as we do this we withdraw from life for fear of being a failure of losing our success or losing a love, but in truth, there never is a last experience.

I lose almost everything that I put my hands on, that does not make me a loser, it simply means that I am learning, maybe the hard way, that what can be lost is not worth holding on to. I could give up, but life has too many surprises for me to do that. And so, I try harder, and often lose harder, but I feel like a great success because my only responsibility, my only success lies in my doing, in my effort, in my willingness to be the product of this moment and not of the past. If God wanted me to catch the ball, I would catch it – so God must want me to reach for it, and as long as I do, I am fulfilling my purpose successfully. And I know that God did not put me on the earth to be loved, I came from God and so my cup is already full, I know that my challenge is to see how much of that eternal fountain of love placed within my heart I can spread in the world. Being hurt is one of the most important parts of living.

Pain expands our capacity to feel, to be filled with love, not from man but from God. The more we are filled the more we can give and the more we give the more we are filled. We find, in the end, that we can never be hurt because we loved too much, only because we expected too much. Love with all of your heart and all of your soul, and expect nothing. Give live the best that you have, and better that best each time, and expect nothing. Live life in this way, and you will never suffer. But you will also never be empty but always full, always a success, and always satisfied. We can describe life spiritually in many ways, but in the end, we are here to learn one thing and that is to love, and we learn that by facing reasons and challenges to our willingness to love. If we can love through all of the hurt that life throws at us, then we rise above hurt protected, not by the love given to us by others, but by the love given to all by ourselves.
And so, when all else fails, love, love with abandon, love without condition, love so much that it fills your entire life. You will not only change our own life, but you will be a part of changing the world.

Living In A Surreal World

 

If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money,
first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will
grow up around them (around the banks), will deprive the people of their property
until their children will wake up homeless. – Thomas Jefferson

The world around us has become surreal. Up until recent years, the energy was focused on new things. We were preoccupied with a new learning curve. Computer technology has changed the way that we live our lives and it seemed, that in order to move anywhere close to ‘business as usual’, we had to learn how to keep up with all of the new devices which suddenly ruled our lives. We had become, necessarily distracted. This new invention, the internet inundated us with information in ways that we had never known before, and viewpoints which were, perhaps, also unknown to us. To some, it seemed to make us feel that we had not been privy to the “TRUTH” before, being limited to the news on television and in print.

In a way, we became overwhelmed by so many points of view, masquerading as information, that we lost our need to distinguish fact from fiction. The more information we received, the less TRUTH mattered in the objective sense. What we wanted, what we have always wanted was a truth that coincided with our own perception of TRUTH. News on the internet, could just as well be propaganda, they became indistinguishable. So the mainstream media, always seeking the numbers, which translated into cash, transformed from the unbiased distribution of facts, to the very biased spreading of opinions. Money went to the media outlets that could spin the facts into a cloth that was preferred by the largest number of people. News distanced itself from journalism and best friended Madison Avenue. The old time. truth telling journalists began to lose favor and finally were slowly moved out to the curb, along with other throwaway items such as, TRUTH, and impartiality. The Constitution, I believe, was at one time interpreted with the original intent and spirit of its framers in mind. Now it is interpreted with only the opinions and best interests of those with the most money in mind.

So now that I can finally look up from my electronic devices to see what is happening around me, I am feeling as though I am on a magic school bus that is transporting me though history to experience, first hand, how empires crumble. I imagine the Roman Senate, so intoxicated with wealth and power that it lost its ability to relate to the Romans themselves. Or old crazy King George the III, who was so eager to milk every last dime out of those distant colonies that he caused the Revolutionary War. Our government and Wall Street have united with Madison Avenue to sell us on the importance of keeping the rich, rich. They have figured out how to make as many Americans as possible hate our President enough to fight against whatever he is in favor of, even if what he is in favor of…is our own ability to survive and sustain our health and the health and wellbeing of our children.

I see the Congress as a caricature from an old New Yorker comic. I see images of Fat Wall Street Bankers shoving cake and candy in their mouths so that they will push through more and more corporate entitlements, after all, now a corporation has the same rights as an individual according to the Supreme Court, only they have more money and power, so in essence, or in real terms, they have more rights. We only get one vote, but they get to buy the candidates. So it turns out that we get to vote between the blow up dolls created and designed by the institutions that we need the most protection from. Our votes have been rendered meaningless, since we can only choose between different looking and different sounding representatives of the same silent, hidden interest. We are given a choice between this Wall Street puppet or that one. Any real representative of the people could not afford the airtime to be heard. In this country, to become a candidate requires the selling of your soul. It is not about whose truth you are aligned with, it is about whose lies are most convincing.

Recently I watched the gubernatorial races around the country and what struck me was that every candidate in the races that I watched, should have been in jail. Those who voted had to vote for the candidate who could make the atrocities of the other candidate sound worse than his own. We were given choices between two evils, two criminals. I don’t know what this says about who we are. I don’t know what this says about what America means anymore. Our values, our morals, are reflected by those we elect to represent us, to govern, to serve. So why do our leaders establish commissions to root out corruption? Are those commissions established to fool us? If they are meant to lead us to believe that this nation does not support corruption, they are not needed. The truth is that we are a corrupt nation. In a time of transparency, and mudslinging, we are fully aware of the lying, stealing and overall corruption of those individuals who are running for office before we vote, and still we elect them. We don’t care who they stole from, cheated on, or killed in their private lives. We don’t care how many millions or billions a candidate stole from the poor or even from the government. We don’t care if a candidate voted to eliminate social security, and unemployment insurance. We care only that we elect a candidate who shares our personal likes and dislikes, our prejudices, or appear on the right side of the right church.

Sadly, those few of us who have eyes and SEE and have ears and HEAR, are so stupefied by what is going on, and are so few in number that we feel powerless. We can only observe as the dam continues to erode, and our chances for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness continues to be only an increasingly distant horizon. We are those voices screaming years before the Revolutionary War, who were ignored, and ostracized by the British supporters, murdered by the Roman Senators. We are those who will not be heard until the majority of people arrive at that destination we, the seeing, fear is ahead.

There are pyramids and other structures around the world that attest to the fact that there were some who either survived Atlantis, or escaped in time to survive and carry the knowledge and wisdom gained throughout the world. And there will be those of us who will, seeing the inevitable collapse that awaits us, will prepare, and simplify our lives. We will join with others in self-sufficient communities, based upon brotherhood and cooperation. We will carry the seeds of life rich in spiritual meaning and Oneness throughout the world.

A TIME TO BUILD UP AND A TIME TO BREAK DOWN

To everything there is a time, a time to build up and a time to break down. This is the time to break down the material foundation that is so far from the heart and from our Source. No one can stop that collapse. No one can save us from the dam that is eroding. It is time; it is the end of its season. Those of us who understand this will survive to teach what we have learned and be a part of building a new legacy. Life seems surreal because it is almost Biblical. What led to the apocalypse, the destruction of the Tower of Babel, and to the end of Rome is what we are witnessing now. The wealthy, and their servants in government are fiddling just like Nero did as Rome burned. When a building becomes disconnected from its foundation, it is no longer a question of if it will fall, but when. And when a government, regardless of whether it calls itself a democracy, a republic, a fascist state or a dictatorship, becomes totally disconnected from the people it governs, it too will inevitably fall.

A Time To Reap

Ecclesiastes 3

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to reap that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to get and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I have always had a difficult time with Ecclesiastes.  Verses like this,  3:16 “And still under the sun in the judgment place I saw wickedness, and in the seat of justice, iniquity”.  It seemed to me that the Teacher was saying that there is no justice.  Then I realized that this is not what that means.  in the following verse, 3:17 “And I said to myself, both the just and the wicked God will judge, since there is a time for every affair and on every work a judgment.”  I realized that the key is time.  There is a time to everything.  In the next verse the Teacher goes on to say, 3:18 “I said to myself: As for the children of men, it is God’s way of testing them and of showing that they are in themselves like beasts.” During the time of planting, we may plant anything we choose.  We may plant love, or hate.  We may plant generosity or selfishness.  We may plant the seeds of giving or the seeds of taking,  and here, under the Sun, it will seem unfair that criminals get away with the things that they do, and poor people, even honest people can be judged wrongly and punished unjustly.  There is no justice, under the Sun, during the time of planting.  Justice, however, comes to all, when it is time to reap what we have planted.  I have seen people who give so little of what they have, and still get more and more.  Of these people I have heard others say that they must have done something good in their past life for God to give them so much, in the way of material success, and power.  I have never see it this way.  Wealth, power, fame, these are all tests, these are seeds given to those who are to be tested in their ability to to fight the temptations of the world.  What will they plant with the wealth and power to plant anything?  Well, today, and for the rest of our lives, and into the lives of our children, we will be reaping what has been sown, and karma will be instant.

We have all heard about 2012 and the Mayan end times. Most of us realize that it is not the end of the world, but the end of life as we know it. So, what happens at the end? Before we can move on to something new, we have to tie up any loose ends. One circle has to close before another can be begun. We are completing a cycle. How many times have we all said, “What goes around comes around?” This is where we are.

On a grand scale, we are seeing this in the oil that is flowing into the ocean. Many of the prophesies tell us that this is a time of choice. Prophecy Rock tells us that this is the time where the road forks, The lower fork is followed by the one hearted people (those who think with their hearts, leads to survival and eventually paradise, the upper path represents the path followed by the two hearted people, those who do not use their hearts – who are connected only with the material world, leads to self destruction. The path to paradise is a spiritual path, it is a path of love, of compassion, of remembering that we have been given custodianship of the earth and all of the species living on this planet. The other path, the one we have been on, is the path of forgetting, forgetting that all rights include responsibilities, that we cannot take without giving back. The laws of karma are the laws of balance, of cause and effect. We do get what we give. Sometimes we get it later, and sometimes we get it sooner. We are in Iraq and in Afghanistan because of decisions made by George Bush Sr. upon first entering Iraq.

We relied on luck, cut corners, got away with it, profited by it and believed that we were entitled. We believed, some of us, that we were more entitled than anyone else. And we believed, that what we were doing, somehow, was backed by God. The other day I was thinking about luck, about how luck seems to be gone. Then I heard these words in my head, ‘Luck is the rope that the Universe gives us to hang ourselves’. Yes, we managed to corrupt everything and get away with it. Well, we were not lucky, and we were not entitled. You could say that we were in the right place at the right time. We have been living during an age that we might call the season of planting. To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven. It is not lucky when you get to go through a green light. This has been the time of the green light.

Now is the beginning of the season of reaping. It is the harvest, time to separate the chaff from the wheat. It is the fork in the road. I believe that there are many on earth today with one heart. I believe that there are many on earth today who will somehow, wake up to the truth and move into the world of oneness, compassion, love and responsibility. Those who awaken will feel the connection, the personal connection with the earth and with all that live on her. They are the seeds of the new planting. During the time of planting, Spirit gives us all of the rope that we ask for, to use as we choose, with total freedom. We can use it selfishly and amass a personal fortune while others starve, die from our greed as acceptable losses or collateral damage. Or we can choose to change, give back what we do not need, and find in our hearts what we really do need. But I believe that this last disaster, on the ocean floor, exemplifies all that is wrong with us. It is the result of our obsessive need to consume, our heartless disregard for life. It shows our irresponsibility, and our psychotic belief that we have the right to do anything that we have the power to do, and that freedom of will, somehow implies freedom from consequences.

We can trust the signs, or just be willing to err on the side of conscience, or ignore the signs, ignore the warnings, leave our hearts in cold storage and pay the price?. I have a feeling that we cannot survive the extinction of the dolphin. They are our last connections to the soul of the earth. We are paying now for all that we have done. Let us ponder the phrase, “the meek shall inherit the earth”.

“Son of man, you dwell in the midst of a rebellious house, which has eyes to see but does not see, and ears to hear but does not hear; for they are a rebellious house.” Ezekiel 12:2

Message to the United Nations (Another Attempt)

Delivered and Submitted by Martin Gashweseoma, Caretaker of the Sovereign Hopi Nation to the General Assembly November 22, 1993

For The Great Spirit, Massau’u:

We come here from the Sovereign Hopi Nation to attend the Cry of the Earth Conference at the United Nations. We are proud that you have opened the door for us. My name is Martin Gashweseoma. As Hopi, we have come here to present our message which is about how we first came here from the previous world.

The Hopi way is to lead a good life. We still have the sacred stone tablets given to us by the Spider Woman. This is our title and deed to this world, and it was given to us with the life plan to follow, and with strong instructions and serious warnings. It was a good life. When the rains came and brought a lot of moisture, then our crops would yield enough for all living beings, including the ants, animals, birds, plants and human kind.

Before leaving the previous world, we came up here to ask permission from the Great Spirit, Massau’u, if we could live here with him because the world down below had become corrupted. He told the people, ‘It is up to you if you are willing to live with full respect for my way of life.’ They said, ‘Yes we are willing to live your way.’ So with his consent we came here, into this new world. This world is where the Great Spirit, Massau’u, first appeared to all first peoples and gave them their instructions and rules to follow. Then the Spider Woman laid before them ears of corn of different colors from which to take their sustenance and livelihood. The greediest people hurried to pick out the longest ears. But the Hopi, being the most humble, waited until last and chose the shortest ears of corn. Spider Woman then gave each group of people their own language and name and told them to migrate to every corner of this continent leaving their footprints, clan markings, and ruins to claim this land.

Before the migrating peoples arrived at the place where the Great Spirit, Massau’u, lives, he used to take walks nearby his home. Coming back home, bringing back violet flowers, he dropped them along the way. After discovering he had dropped the violet flowers, he went back to look for them, but the flowers had already been found by the Horny Toad Woman. The Great Spirit, Massau’u, asked if she would give it back but the Horny Toad Woman refused. Instead, she told him that in time there would be a crisis in this world, with which he would need help. At that time she would be there with her steel helmet to help. Meaning that someday if the Hopi got into trouble, a group of people with the steel helmet would help them.

The Great Spirit, Massau’u, let the first group who had found him live there and settle down. Each subsequent group of people who came to settle in Oraibi after their migrations were allowed to stay based on judgment of their character and how they had traveled when they were searching for the Great Spirit. Those who were boastful and arrogant were sent away to the east. Those of humble and sincere hearts were allowed to stay and keep the ceremonials in the proper manner to ensure rain for the crops and all living things. After this was settled, all the things that were to come were told to the first people in Oraibi by the first people that came from the underworld.

The people were told of another race of people who would come to this land and claim it as their own land. We were told not to accept anything these people would offer to us, but it will tempt us and be hard to resist. They would be intelligent and the inventors of many things. Now we realize that these people are the light-skinned people, the Bahanas. We were told of something that would come that would be pulled by animals, meaning wagons or carts. And ones that would run very fast, meaning automobiles. We were told of the land being cut up by long roads and fences, and of highways that would be built in the sky. And that women would adopt male clothing. And that the secret of women, with clothing, covered, would no longer be secret, but be revealed and exposed.

When this happens, all the world leaders people will be corrupted and will not know whom to look to for direction to correct this corruption. It will mean that we are all nearing the end. Then the wars will come about like powerful winds, and will spread from country to country and bring Purification or Destruction to this world. The more we turn away from the instructions of the Great Spirit, the more signs we see in the form of earthquakes, floods, drought, fires, tornadoes, as Nature makes ready her revenge. All of this will happen at one time along with the wars and corruption. We see this now as young children become angry, killing each other and their parents. They show no respect. We are all corrupt. If this Purification does not materialize, then the world will turn over 4 times and will leave only ants here to start a new life. Before people came to this world they were sick, just as today, we are sick from all this corruption. Now we are seeking a way to solve our present situation. This is the last world, we are not going anywhere from here. If we destroy this, the highest world, we will be given no other chances.

Let us consider this matter seriously so that this world is not destroyed, so that we can continue to live and save this land and life for the generations to come.

Denise Gibel Molini