Understanding Time

The most straightforward conclusion is that both past and future are fixed. For this reason, physicists prefer to think of time as laid out in its entirety— a timescape, analogous to a landscape— with all past and future events located there together. It is a notion sometimes referred to as block time. Completely absent from this description of nature is anything that singles out a privileged, special moment as the present or any process that would systematically turn future events into present, then past, events. In short, the time of the physicist does not pass or flowScientific American Editors (2012-11-30). A Question of Time: The Ultimate Paradox

I have been fascinated with time for many years.    Time is really one of the great mysteries because it has so much depth of meaning.  There is physical time measured by the movement of the hands of a clock.  That outer expression of time allows us to keep our experiences in linear order, to measure the distance between this time, or experience and the next or past.  It lets us know when to expect our seasons and cycles.  . We are passengers traveling through this timescape in a vehicle that is our own energy field, containing our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physicals bodies.  This vehicle is transported through this timescape by the same unseen Driver that transports all vehicles on their paths here on this planet.

As we move through time distance grows between us and a painful loss, that distance, which gives us perspective, and healing. After all, we do not really observe the passage of time. What we actually observe is that later states of the world differ from earlier states that we still remember. The fact that we remember the past, rather than the future, is an observation not of the passage of time but of the asymmetry of time. Nothing other than a conscious observer registers the flow of time. A clock measures durations between events much as a measuring tape measures distances between places; it does not measure the “speed” with which one moment succeeds another. Therefore, it appears that the flow of time is subjective, not objective. Scientific American Editors (2012-11-30). A Question of Time: The Ultimate Paradox This is the same time that appears to move so slowly when we are children, and to increase in speed as we age.  Yet at any age, it seems to move so slowly when we are waiting for something we want to happen, and to move so quickly when we are facing a deadline, or are running late.

Time seems to exist relative to the context within which we view it. There is another way in which we perceive time.  This perception is much more indicative of place.  There is the experience of time as color.  I don’t mean yellow or green, but how a period of time contains its own color – tone, energy.  The Renaissance Period, the Industrial Age, the Age of Reason, The Age of Enlightenment, the information age, are examples of large periods of time containing a singular energy or color.  Then we have decades, the sixties, the seventies, the eighties, each decade evokes a general energy that covers the economy, the style, and overall emotional sentiment coloring that period of time. If we envision time as the true environment through which our paths lead us, those periods of time would be like countries that all vehicles must pass through.  Yet on a personal level our lives have periods that contain their own color, those would be the stations in which our individual vehicles stop, or linger.

The longer our vehicle lingers at a particular station, the more of that energy we absorb and carry with us to the next. To put this in physical terms, if you were going to a place where the language and customs were different than yours for a week, you would learn a few words, pick up a few customs and probably forget it all when you leave.  However, if you were to find yourself remaining in that place for a number of years, you would adopt the language and customs.  You would begin to think in the new language and take on the new customs as your own.  That experience would be absorbed and integrated into who you are and remain with you even after you left.  However, you would still be who you were before that journey began, only enriched by that additional layer of experience.  So, I am an American, if I went to live in Italy for 10 years I could live like an Italian, speak like an Italian, but I would still be an American.

When we prepare for our journey in this life, we are not blank slates, we are perfect souls with a specific agenda based on the lessons that we want to learn, the growth that we want to achieve and the souls that we want or need in this life to meet these goals.  The soul plans where and when these situations and other souls will be met.  Most importantly, we plan where in the timescape our journey will begin.  That first stop is the most important because we will enter it with amnesia. We are not born when we enter this life, our bodies are born.  We are not created and molded by our parents, our bodies are created and our first experiences are provided by our parents.

The timescape known as ‘childhood’ gives us our first colors, it colors our world as we perceive it, and even more importantly, that time colors how we perceive ourselves.  But because we are whole, fully formed souls with amnesia, and not newly created beings, childhood does not define us. We come to this first stop fully defined.  Yet, we have no memory of our own definition.  So we absorb the color of that time as our own.  We see ourselves and the world through that color. As we continue on our journey, and travel the path of destiny to each new stop, some of that color chips off because it doesn’t stand up to the conditions at other stops along the way.  Each time of our lives that we pass through gives us some new color, or reinforces an earlier color.

From the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius

So many people have asked me the meaning of the Age of Aquarius. There are those who believe that we are in the Age of Aquarius and those who believe that we are in the final days of the Age of Pisces. It seems to me that if we are not sure which age we are in it is because we do not understand the meaning of the ages. So, I will describe the characteristics of this age that we are in and the age that we are entering.

To understand the Age of Pisces we must understand two things, first there is the symbol for Pisces, it is two fish tied together swimming in opposite directions. So we must immediately understand that it is a sign of duality, a sign that emphasizes opposites with enormous passion. If there is any word that must be stressed during this age that word is passion. If we do anything, we do it passionately, if we believe anything, we believe it passionately. And we think that passion is a part of our makeup. It is not. We are all portions of the Divine. We are all Divine Seeds. This means that we are all love and that kind of love, that level of love that I am speaking of Divine Love is not passionate. Passion is the cause of suffering. Passion is not even a quality of the material world; survival is the only natural quality of the material world. When a lioness kills her prey it is without passion, it is a requirement of survival. This is why animals do not hate, they are a part of the earth and there is only hate where there is passion.

We have been living for at least two thousand years in a passionate age. How does that affect us? We are here to absorb and work through the existing energies of this planet in order to grow. And so we are like clear sponges. And when we enter the world during an age, we first absorb the energy of that age, this age of Pisces is red with passion and so although we are clear sponges when we enter the environment, we become red because we absorb the energy of the environment. The age colors everything. Why? It does so because everything on earth absorbs its energy from the Sun, and the constellation that the Sun is in during its own 25,000 plus year rotation will color the energy that we absorb from it.

Every religion has its legends of destruction and new birth, whether it is by flood, fire, air or war, periodically in the history of mankind there have been reseedings. Each species evolves through mutation physically and spiritually so as a new age or seeding is about to occur, there are mutations that incarnate to generate the change. This has been happening for about three hundred years culminating in a major seeding of souls during the late forties and fifties. These were the souls who bloomed during the sixties with the energy of Aquarius and as they bloomed, their seeds were carried by the wind of Spirit to be planted and spread throughout the world to begin the slow process of change into the energy of Aquarius. It is certain that the Age of Pisces created the divide between man and his God. Before this age, man saw the universe as one great body of which he was a part. There was no God out there far far away in Heaven. There was only God in everything and everyone who existed upon the earth. The power of these ancient beings is the stuff of legends, but because they are legends does not mean that the powers were not real.

I wondered, if all is perfect and for our growth, there are no mistakes and no accidents, then why was God taken from within man and placed at such a distance that we could feasibly lose our belief? What is the good in that? Yes, I know that on the mundane level it was done by the greedy to maintain power, but I know that even the greedy are only playing their parts in the Plan. Then it came to me, many mystics believe that God created the world in order to experience himself. How can we understand the power of God that exists within us, unless we are apart from it, a drop of water cannot conceive of the power of the ocean unless it is separated from it. So we have, during this Age, reached the greatest distance that we can from the Power within us.

We have taken our manipulation of the external world to its peak during this age. We will soon run out of things to invent – then what? I had a vision the other day while driving in my car. I saw a group of students perhaps five hundred years from now talking about how backwards we were with all of our airplanes, rockets, bombs and gadgets. Laughing at how hard we worked to build things with our hands when all we had to do was build them with our minds. I saw them studying war (a concept lost to them) and having war explained as how barbarians functioned before civilization. To the humans of the future, civilization will be living in at-one-ness with the Power from which we all come and the universe of which we all are a part. There will be no God, no void, only a continuous circle of life. There will be no heaven or hell because theirs will be a holographic universe where they naturally see that the whole is within each part and each part is a mirror of the whole. But in order for us to get to this place of non-duality, we must be the fish swimming in opposite directions with passion and commitment, going nowhere, but going but willing to kill anyone who stops us from getting there.

Unless we passionately exhaust our beliefs, however delusional they are, we cannot choose to change them. This is the purpose of the age of passionate confusion – the age of Pisces. And to really see how this works in our lives personally, we must understand the planet the rules Pisces and that is Neptune. Neptune is somewhere in all of our charts and is moving through some part of each chart at all times. Where ever it is, life will never be the same again. Neptune is a very strange energy. It enfolds us in a blanket of blind faith and passionate commitment to a path that appears to be clearer than any that we have ever known before. However, in the midst of being so certain and so committed we find that everyone else in our lives sees something seriously wrong with the vision of the world we are holding. Usually we find ourselves making the most outrageous sacrifices almost joyfully because we feel that God has ordained them. We fly in the face of overwhelming odds. We take the most irresponsible risks with passionate abandon. We build castles in the air, move into them, and have absolutely no qualms about paying the rent.

The positive face of Neptune is that it can be compassionate and self-sacrificing. It allows us to believe in the loftiest of ideals and aim for the most spiritual of heights. The negative face of Neptune allows us to fight to build a nation based on freedom and delude ourselves into thinking that owning slaves is not a contradiction. It can cause people to believe in Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, and find no contradiction in waging the most brutal wars in His name. It permits us to break every one of the Ten Commandments and still consider ourselves pious, own multi-million dollar mansions while eighty percent of the world is starving, and consider ourselves righteous human beings. In other words, it is the great deceiver.

On the personal level, we may find that we have endured ten years of torture and abuse in a marriage because we believed our spouses every time we were told that it would never happen again. Or, we could join a cult and spend fourteen years giving all that we have to that cult not ever feeling that we were being taken. Then one day Neptune moves on. When this happens we wake up wondering where or even who we have been for all of those years, lost and humiliated wondering at what point we lost our sanity. It is easy accepting that everyone makes mistakes, but when it is a Neptune mistake—we find that it has cost us something that we would never have given up were we in our right mind. That something could be financial security, emotional security, our position in society, even those whom we love the most. Neptune also rules drugs and alcohol. Neptune strikes us where we feel we are the least vulnerable. And when it is over, we find that the golden chalice we risked everything to own was no more than a tin cup. We look back at the signs that we missed, the warnings that we refused to heed, the writing on the wall that was as clear as the noses on our faces and wonder how on earth we could have ever been that stupid.

Imagine the feeling of the devout Christian monk who, in the fervor of Neptune’s delusion, joined in the slaughter of hundreds of people during the Crusades. Neptune moves on and all that he is left with is the bloodstains on his hands. The reaction to our Neptune actions range from, “This is going to be hard to fix”, to “My God what have I done?” What underlies all Neptune experiences is that somewhere in our lives we have placed too much dependence upon something that is directly in the way of our spiritual connection with the Divine. Neptune lessons are probably the most difficult to learn because we don’t wake up until all of the damage has been done and for us to face ourselves and the world at this point takes an amount of humility that most of us just did not come in with. Neptune teaches us what we can live without, which is usually the one thing in our lives that we have determined we cannot live without.

Neptune shows us that nothing is real except faith because while it is affecting our lives, we truly believe what we are living in is the only reality and our delusions—the only truths. And when we awaken, we find that we cannot ever repeat the justifications that we once lived by, with a straight face. We can never put back together what Neptune has destroyed. It is a spiritual planet – it is the hand of God. It does not work to make us rich in the earthly garden, it works to make us rich in the spiritual garden. It does not work to strengthen our relationship with the opposite sex, it works to strengthen our relationship with Spirit. The Spiritual world and the material world are opposites, what is good for one is not good for the other. “Seek and ye shall find” – not if it is a Mercedes. “What does it merit a man to gain the world if he loses his soul?” This is the lesson of Neptune. This is the lesson the Age of Pisces.

Neptune rules illusion and delusion, it rules everything that sparkles and shines, the bigger the better. It rules glamour. It is the god of temptation. It lies, it helps us justify, it entices us to take more and more until we die to the physical world and are reborn to the spiritual.

When Neptune entered my house of money I had my own business two homes and all that glitters and glows. By the time Neptune left that house in my chart, I had the clothes on my back and was not too sure how long I would have them. I had no choice where the loss was concerned, the tighter I held on the faster it slipped away – the more ideas I came up with to make more, the more crooks entered my life to steal it. My option was not to find out how to be smarter about money, my option was to let go or suffer. Neptune give us an opportunity to learn detachment. I say offers us the opportunity to learn because we do not have to learn Neptune’s lessons. This is where free will comes in. Many people, I am sure, come out of a Neptune cycle such as mine having learned nothing. For those who learn nothing, joy will always be something that belongs to someone else. Because those things that Neptune takes away from us, are the things that stand between our joy, and us, whether they are money, power, status, fame, pride or just plain ego. Our load is somehow lightened in the area that Neptune travels, whether we like it or not.

So, during the age of Pisces we have fought for our personal form of worship of God, while at the same time somehow finding ourselves completely justified in breaking His laws as often and with as much passion as possible. During the Age of Pisces we were willing to give up our lives for all to be free, but we were not willing to give up our slaves. We said the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, repeating the words, “With Liberty and Justice for all” while ensuring that there was liberty and justice only for the privileged few. We spoke with forked tongues and were equally committed to both forks. Two fish swimming in opposite directions. We repeated the words, “Judge not lest ye be judged,” while simultaneously judging everyone whose beliefs differed from our own.

So now, we say that we are in a war to bring freedom to a country at the cost of the lives of most of those to whom we are bringing this freedom. And that works for many of us, or at least those of us who are still heavily under the influence of the Age of Pisces. Yet, those of who have been awakened by the Age of Aquarius, are finding it difficult to understand how we have spent our lives believing that black was white and finding it impossible to explain to our Aquarian children what the truth exactly is. We wonder why our children lie so much without realizing that in the short time that they have spent in our world, they have seen no truth. The Age of Pisces has been a dream and a nightmare, and whether we believed the dream or lived the nightmare, waking up is feeling more and more like hell.

I cannot count the number of beautiful happy families I grew up watching on television and believing in where the actors and actresses who played the happy children went home only to be abused by their real parents. Yes, waking up is hell. But, wake up we must because as Neptune is the great deceiver, Uranus, the planet that rules the Age of Aquarius is the great awakener. Pisces allows us to live in blind faith. It allows us to believe that we are being faithful and remain blind to our own deceit. Now, with the Age of Aquarius upon us we must give up our blind faith for Enlightened believe, and that means awakened belief. The wonder of this new age is realizing that we can have faith, without being blind, and that faith, awakened faith—can never lead to disillusionment. In the lie we have been enslaved because we have had to live in the fear.

Although we have not officially entered the Age of Aquarius, it is here. It is here drawing out the truth and awakening the souls whose true vibration is Aquarian. Losing the illusion does not mean losing Santa Claus, it means finding him where he lives, in the human heart. A faith born of blindness is one, which will be lost if sight is restored, but a faith born of vision, and light is one that can guide us forever. The Age of Pisces demanded that we believe blindly in a God that can never be seen, and never be attained. The Age of Aquarius tells us to open our eyes to the mystical beauty of the God that animates all that is. In the Age of Aquarius we will not need to go the a church, synagogue or mosque in order to find God, we simply have to look at the trees, the sky, the people and life that is all around us to know God as once our ancestors did. We will live in peace because we will know that we do not need to go to heaven, we simply need to live it. This is the Age of Aquarius, it is the freedom that comes from truth, the truth that God is where our love is and also who we are. Pisces rules prisons and asylums, bondage and our deepest fears. What we have come to fear most in this age is the truth.

In Pisces we have placed God so far from our reach that we have become convinced that we would be forgiven for not even trying to reach It. We have invented our own scapegoat and named him Satan. We have turned Christ into a martyr who died so that we can remain imperfectly pure and tell ourselves that we are faultless in the sight of God. In the Age of Aquarius there is no devil out there and there is no God out there, both reside within us, both reside in the light, and it is within that light that both become One and that One becomes Us. We must make our choices in the sight of God and the world and know that we are our choices. In Pisces we have been enslaved by the lies and hypocrisy within which we have lived. In the Age of Aquarius there will be no lies, no hypocrisy and so no fear of exposure. Without the fear of exposure, there is no prison.

God Moves The Cheese – How we make major changes

I have been looking for signs that would tell me how close we were to the Age of Aquarius, and certainly – what would build it. Then, the other day I had the television on as background noise and I heard a commentator speaking about something that the government had attempted to keep secret. The other person on the show remarked that they should have known better in this time of ‘transparency’ with cell phones and other recording devices always around. That conversation struck me as the ‘sign’ that I had been seeking. I could not find a better word to describe the undercurrent that I had been feeling from the people that I had been counseling over the past few years it was the need to live transparently. That saying, “The truth shall set you free” has been playing over and over in my head because over the past few years I have noticed so much of a sense that people were enslaved by the lies that they were living.

I did not grow up in the energetic environment of my parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents so I can’t say how they felt in their lives. I do know that their lives, at least until my parent’s generation, were ruled by the roles society had carved out for them. They seemed to have their ‘place’ and the ‘place’ that they could aspire to. I really can’t say whether or not they were happy once they arrived in their ‘place’. Were wives generally happy serving their husbands and catering to the needs of their children? Did they have needs of their own? If they did, did they believe that the sacrificing of those needs was a worthwhile price to pay for what they received in return? Did they honestly believe that the Church was an ordained pillar of righteousness and all who served were above reproach? Did they honestly believe that our elected officials were moral and honest leaders above and self-serving desires or ulterior motives? In the age of Pisces, illusion is real. And obviously the set up was all an illusion. With all of the rugs being overturned and all of the closets being opened today, it seemed that on the whole, they either closed their eyes, fooling themselves into believing what they were told, and not looking behind closed doors or asking too many questions, or, they told themselves that their lives would be better off if they just lived as if it were right. I imagine that the whole ‘person fit the mold’ thing, rather than, ‘the mold fit the person’, worked for generations.

What I have noticed in people that I have counseled is a profound unhappiness within seemingly happy lives. In other words, I keep hearing people say that they have everything that others say should make them happy, everything that they believed would make them happy, but they are deeply unhappy. This unhappiness is compounded by the fact that they feel ungrateful because they have what others seem to want. So they feel ashamed of their pain and as a result, too guilty to seek help. If they do seek help, the help that they seek is help in fixing themselves so that they can find the happiness that they are supposed to have with the lives that they are living rather than finding the courage to look within their souls for keys to the true life that would contain their happiness. I am seeing people who either have what they believed would make them happy, or what they were told would make them happy but instead it is the cause of their pain. It is this widespread inner discontent that changes the world. This sense of dissatisfaction – this intense need for some kind of change grows within the collective unconscious until it reaches critical mass and something happens to force a change. We are accustomed to quick fixes, but we need a lasting resolution. Humanity is entering an age that is taking it from the surface to the heart, from the world to the soul, from a world of greater and lesser beings to a world of equality, honesty, freedom and brotherhood. All of the boxes are the same as they always have been, there are still the many ‘things’ out there, the many awards, achievements and ways to find self-gratification – and goodies to buy to advertise our personal greatness, so that we are not overlooked, but God moved the cheese - the happy – to another place.

Everyone wants the brass ring, but we are conditioned to want the brass ring that we can have. Everyone can’t be the queen of England, but some people can, for a time, be the queen of Broadway. So it is to that, which they aspire. Up until about seventy years ago, people were able to be happy because their expectations were very limited. If you were a woman – then you had your list of achievable goals. If your father was a coal miner, you had your list of achievable goals, if you were Black, you had your list of achievable goals and to get to the top of your list, or even close, left most people at least content and usually happy with their lives.

It seems to me that World War II pretty much blew that boat out to sea. Suddenly, people found themselves in strange new roles – roles that were believed and accepted as beyond their reach, or just plain unnatural for them. Women went out to work, formed sports teams, took over supervising positions, supported the country, brought home the bacon and cooked it. Whites had to fight with and often found their lives in the hands of Negro soldiers, all lines, including the color lines were temporarily but still irrevocably crossed. Factory workers became Sergeants, bosses became privates, all in all, everyone found themselves living somehow outside of the box that seemed before to be set in stone. Although the world expected everyone to return to their original roles -and most had to – the taste of the possible never left their palates. Soon, ‘Equality’ was to be the never-ending hum in the background of life from then on. The first key-word for Aquarius was ushered into the age.

Of course, the first harbingers of change are always met with violent opposition, so the shouts for equality were labeled Communist, and the McCarthy era showed that those in power would do anything to combat the massive changes that a movement towards freedom and equality would bring. The generation of children born during and after that war was, as would be required, the “Me” generation. If you think about it, this was the perfect and timely reaction to all of the “everything but me” generations that came before. It made sense because we had to come from ‘what is good for the whole is good for the parts’ to ‘what is good for the parts is good for the whole’ in order to get to our destination of ‘the whole is equal to the parts’ – Aquarius. Change – this kind of change – is not something that happens, like walking out of one room into another. We must transition. For more than two thousand years, power has been held by those who maintained the greatest secrecy. Sometimes it was the manipulation of the ignorant populace by the few who understood the workings and cycles of nature, to pretend to create miracles, such as eclipses, lightening, or droughts. Or, it was by the use of the fear of the gods or God to manipulate the people into submission. Today it is still done, but more through covert actions of institutions, governments, covert deals made with those who manipulate the world’s economies.

The church has always governed in secrecy the Vatican contains vaults of secret writings, hidden documents etc. For so many years the perverted actions of the clergy went on, hidden and protected by the accepted secrecy so pervasive in this age. Government officials hid their true identities and true motives behind vast networks of cover-ups for as long as we can remember. Then suddenly, bit by bit, the truths have been unearthed, perhaps beginning with the Dead Sea Scrolls and the scrolls found at Nag Hammadi. This, followed by expository journalism, tabloid press, cell phones, hidden cameras, whistle blowers and the internet has made for a growing overall transparency. This is a time of revelations. Everything hidden is being revealed. It is this truth – this revelation – that will ultimately set us free of the shackles of deception and illusion. People said one thing and lived another. We idolized our celebrities as perfect and they had to maintain a public persona. When I was a child I heard the fear of one day having “Big Brother” watching our every move. Today, big Brother is watching us, but we are also watch Big Brother. Everything and everyone is being exposed, more and more. It will only continue to grow. We ourselves are being exposed to ourselves and any lives that we have been living that are not true to our hearts, and our souls, will cause more and more of us heightened levels of pain. I once looked at the supermarket counters loaded with tabloid papers as a part of the degeneration of our society. Until I saw a headline in one of those tabloids saying that two actors, renowned for their humanitarian efforts were going on a spending spree, flying doctors over continents, spending upwards of eight figures for a home and I realized that if we admire people if must be not just for what they do but also for how they live.

Today, with the world as small as it is, it seems a bit obscene to live large, while others are struggling just to live. And living large is ok, for those who claim with all honesty and candor to be card carrying members of the greedy few. It’s honest. But if you profess a sense of responsibility to the world and the suffering within it, if you believe that to whom much is given, much is expected, and want your name in that book, then you must not just do charity but live a charitable life. It is time for us to be ourselves, live as ourselves, wear one face, and walk our talk. This is what the Age of Aquarius is all about. When everyone says, “This is who I am and I am proud of it”, tabloids will have nothing to expose. When we no longer put people on pedestals, we will no longer feel the need to knock them off. There are no pedestals in Aquarius. As we draw nearer and nearer to that Age we will learn that death is not the only great equalizer. God has moved the cheese. The power box is now empty, the material wealth box is now empty, the public adoration box is now empty. The sooner we figure out that God has put the cheese in the box of love given, time shared, selfless service and brotherhood, the sooner we will find the transition into the new Age a rewarding journey of gain, and not a painful succession of losses.

Secrets require darkness. A life that cannot stand up under the Sun twenty-four hours a day is a painful life lived in fear and darkness. But sometimes we are more afraid of what will happen to us in the light than we are of the continued fear of the darkness. When we are here, then the Universe must intervene and expose us to the light that we have hidden from and regardless of what we lose from exposure to the light, it pales in comparison to the sense of joy and freedom that comes from not ever having to hide again. When no one has to hide, when no one wants to hide, when no one will hide – we will know that we have officially become a part of the Age of Aquarius.

It’s Cool To Be Kind

Enlightened beings are magnanimous givers, bestowing whatever they have with equanimity, without regret, without hoping for reward, without seeking honor, without coveting material benefits, but only to rescue and safeguard all living beings.
Buddhism. Garland Sutra 21
There are so many phrases that characterize these times such as, “Only the strong survive,” and, “People mistake kindness for stupidity”. “It is a dog eat dog world”. It seems that there has been a consistently growing trend against being nice. Today if one is too nice, they either need to join some religious order or seek a therapist’s couch.

When I was young, I was deeply affected by the emotional pain experienced by the people around me. I was especially sensitive to the fact that it was not inescapable pain but really self-inflicted. The greatest pain seemed to be caused by those we care for and sometimes even by those who care for us. My reaction to the pain of those around me and to my own, was to determine to live my life in a way which would focus on helping those in pain, and trying not to be the cause of pain for others. I was naive enough to want to see people happy. I grew up in an environment so devoid of trust and faith that I was going to carry enough for everyone. To me, it was so important to trust and to be trusted. Although I was often hurt or disappointed, it did not stop me from being true to the person that I believed I should be.

One day, in my early twenties, I was with a group of co-workers, speaking openly and honestly, when a friend pulled me aside and told me that everyone was not laughing with me they were laughing at me. She told me that I was kind and trusting, and people just saw it as stupid. She said that I had to change to protect myself.

A few years later, I had a friend who started calling me a weak ass. It bothered me but I wasn’t comfortable confronting her about it at first. I knew she thought I was too nice especially to people she didn’t feel deserved it. One day, I asked her why she called me that and she told me that if everyone in the world was like me—it would be a beautiful place, but since everyone was not, I was a weak ass. I respected her honesty and I also knew that in her way, it was a compliment. In the end, my being what she called, a weak ass was the reason she had chosen me as one of the few people that she really trusted.

During my early twenties, I did a great deal of soul searching. The truth was, that people were very difficult for me to deal with. I didn’t find it easy to make friends, because most people saw me as someone to take advantage of. Each group was somehow formed around its sense of superiority to other groups. I didn’t feel superior to anyone, and that affected my ability to fit in. At some point, probably during one of those painful times, I thought of the ways in which I could change and so avoid the endless hurts and disappointments that seemed to be a permanent part of my life. I realized that I could put up a cold wall, I could expect the worst from others, and take before I was taken. I could choose my friends based on how much they had to offer me, or how good it made me look to be with them. I could do those things that I had for so long been advised to do—or I could accept that who I was, was who I had always wanted to be. Because I realized that I was the person I would have wanted as a friend, and that, was the highest goal that I ever wanted to achieve within myself. I would rather have been who I was—alone—than to have allowed the experiences of my life to control me and to determine who I was as a person.

This is what is called dharma. It is living the life that is truly natural to your soul. It is really being your true self and living in accordance with that true self. There is a story of a Bodhisattva who was sitting by the water’s edge. A priest who was approaching him heard him saying “ouch” repeatedly. As he drew nearer, he noticed there was a scorpion that was drowning. As he watched the scorpion and the Bodhisattva he was astonished to see that each time the scorpion began to drown, the Bodhisattva reached into the water and pulled it out. And each time after each time it was being pulled out of the water the scorpion would sting the Bodhisattva’s hand. Afters it was pulled out the scorpion would return to the water and the scenario would be repeated.

The priest looked at the Bodhisattva in frustration and asked, “Master, you know that the scorpion is going to sting you, why do you repeatedly lift it out of the water?” The Bodhisattva responded, “It is the dharma of the scorpion to sting—and it is my dharma to save.” In this lifetime “to save” is not everyone’s dharma. There are even those humans whose dharma is to “sting”. Yet many, whose dharma it is to save, to help, and to love his fellow man—hold back out of fear of rejection or ridicule. So instead, they do what others do and, in acting against their dharma, they sadly create unnecessary karma.

It is my belief, and this is very personal, that it is the innate desire of each person to be loved unconditionally and to be allowed—regardless of past actions—to be the best one can be. I once read somewhere that loving is giving what you most need to receive. And this is why I say that this is personal, because it is what I would want to be given to me. So I chose to give others an opportunity to be trusted, even if they had not shown themselves to be trustworthy in the past, and to create a non-judgmental space for people to feel safe enough to change if they chose to do so. Perhaps, eight out of ten times this proved disastrous for me, but it wasn’t a personal loss because, having given something consciously, it was not taken from me. When I claimed my power, I claimed my right to give, to love, and to succeed in what I measured as success which was to be the best human being that I could. I no longer perceived myself as being a victim because I made the choice. I no longer perceived myself as being used or taken advantage of because I made a choice. Regardless of the perceptions of others, within myself I was becoming successful and that feeling was empowering.

Someone said that there are no bad people—only bad choices. I believe that because society is so fearful and so judgmental that some of us become forced into living out the persona of those bad choices in spite of an inner desire to rise above them. This is what happens to us during the Christmas season. It is a frozen moment in time when we may safely, without fear of loss or judgment, bring out what is best within us. We may experience the joy of giving and of sharing without feeling foolish, without fearing that we will be used or taken advantage of. The fears of our society have made those for whom giving and loving are the source of joy feel weak and defective. We have equated kindness not only with stupidity but with what this society considers to be the most detestable fault that one can have—that of weakness. My own father went to his grave fearing for my survival because of those exact traits that most endeared me to him.

For too long, people who do really care about the welfare of others have been made to feel ashamed of that feeling. They are either labeled, “Bleeding Heart Liberals”, or made to believe that they suffer from some form of inferiority complex. And to a large extent they do suffer from a complex. This is because there has been no place in the everyday world for good people. Even hearing the word in my head as I write makes me almost feel as those I am describing a leper. Good people have to find their own path and fight the world, their loved ones, and even themselves so as to stay on it. It has been very difficult after goodness lost favor with the general public in response to the sixties. So, unless one fits into the category of being an aged hippy, or a left over love child—good people have little or no support for their beliefs about life and the way to live it. I found that it is easy to feel confident when you believe in who you are. It was the believing that took some time, but it always does when you are swimming against the tide. The thing to remember is that it only takes one person to make a path—anywhere—and everyone else will eventually follow. It takes belief to develop confidence, and a willingness to walk alone to make that path, but once the path is made, you are not alone for long.

Now, it is time for all of the bleeding hearts to be proud that their hearts are not too cold, or too hard to bleed. It is time that we acknowledge that it is neither bad nor stupid to be good. It is spiritual. And one does not have to join an order to be spiritual and to live a life that exemplifies the spiritual principals taught by every Light that God has sent down to earth to lead us. For too long, we have bought into that dog eat dog world. We are not animals we are spiritual beings. We are meant to rise above survival of the fittest and that dog eat dog belief. We are meant to love, to care, and to be our brother’s keeper. We don’t have to wait until it becomes cool or in, to be good we have to be good long enough, and with enough courage and conviction that it becomes cool. There are no catchy phrases which praise being a good person. There are only phrases denigrating it. If someone is too good—then they are not true, or they are a stupid, a wimp, an easy mark, or a sucker. It actually amazes me that one can’t be too thin, or can’t be too rich, but one can be too good! We have gone so far down the wrong path that when someone does something right or is too decent, or humane, either their motives or their intelligence are immediately suspect.

It is time to lift ourselves out of the jungle where only the strong survive. It is time to leave the kingdom where dogs eat dogs and enter the kingdom where mankind can love and care for all living things. It is time for us to rise to the position that is befitting those who were created in the image of God, that image of the loving, caring, and forgiving caretaker that God is. How can we speak in His name, when we ourselves celebrate the animal in us and demean the God in us? God is goodness. If enough people find the courage to be proud of caring, proud of giving, and proud of trusting, then others will find it wise and cool to do the same. The world is in sore need of all the loving, giving, caring people it can support. And that does not mean confined in a religious order, but out in the world living an example that others can be encouraged to follow. There is an infinite distance between nowhere and the first step, but once that first step is taken, we find that the universe takes our hand the rest of the way.

The Gifts We Bring

There is no mountain that we cannot climb so long as we can fix our eyes on the peak
To truly believe something is to have innate knowledge. That innate knowledge is faith. Faith is connected with inner sight, the sight that sees the truth that our eyes do not see. We are only capable of believing that which is possible. We all believe in fate. Even those people, who feel that they are totally in charge of their lives, believe that at some point that something happened in their lives that had the feeling of Divine Intervention. There was at least some moment in which fate played a part.

Whether we believe that fate is the path defined by God, by the Universe or simply the path we ourselves determined prior to coming here; fate still has a hand in determining the path that we walk.
We each contain knowledge of our path. The Maya, or the veil of illusion, fools us into believing that we are driven by our wants, our desires, or our wishes, when in fact what moves us ahead are our possibilities. Each of us longs to fulfill our own destiny. It is through our needs, our wishes, desires and our choices that we are guided towards that destiny. When we are able to visualize something or when we are fueled with the passion for something to the point that such a passion consumes us, this is not a desire. It is in fact a, “Knowing”. It is a piercing of the veil of illusion to that which actually will be.

We cannot sustain a burning desire for anything that we cannot actually achieve. If in fact we are capable of truly visualizing a goal, it is not simply a goal; it is the actual vision of our destiny. The fact that it is real and not just imaginary is the only reason that we are actually capable of visualizing it.
It is our beliefs that work to manifest our reality. We cannot truly hold on to a belief that is impossible to realize. We may hold a vision for a short period of time but we cannot maintain it unless it is real. Therefore if we can really believe something to be true, if we can really believe that we can attain a certain goal, this is only because we will attain it, or at least it is within our capabilities to attain it.

Let’s say that we all come into this incarnation with what I call a, “Bag of ‘Haves”’. These are the things that are within us to do, to accomplish, or to obtain. These things are a part of our destiny. The knowledge of these things is expressed through our dreams, wishes and desires. We would take no notice of or at least we would not be able to retain any desire for these same objects, positions, or relationships if they were not within our ability to have.

Many times we are obsessed with getting to one point and once there we feel as though it isn’t where we want to be at all. This wasn’t a mistake; it was a step that we had to reach on the road to our ultimate destiny. The lessons come in each step of the process and sometimes the lessons are meant to make us feel lost, or out of step because within that experience is the key to the next door, or the clue to our next step.

Some people spend their entire lives feeling lost and out of place. Even that would mean that within those feelings are the lessons to be learned in this lifetime. What is important to remember is that we are always going to have what we came here to have. We always have what we really need; it may be just a matter of time and experience until we receive it.

There was a time when in order to get a donkey to move they would attach a carrot to a stick and put that stick on the donkey’s head. The donkey would keep going in order to reach the carrot. Of course he never reached it because it was always in front of him. Yet, he always had it because it was attached to his head. He would go around chasing the carrot because he could see it, but actually the reason that he could visualize the carrot is because he really had it. He could not reach the carrot because he did not believe that he had it. If he believed he had it, he would find a way to get it off of his head, instead of chasing it. Faith is the step to remove the carrot from the head and place it in the hand. The carrot is ours and it is on our heads. We simply have to take it.

We just see the carrot as what we want as what we wish for and desire. When we have faith, we realize that the carrot is ours and we stop following it and just take it. But if it were not attached to our heads, if it were not in front of our eyes, in other words within our, “bag of haves”, we could not think to desire or want it.
So it is helpful to say that if we can visualize what we want and believe it, then it is truly already ours, it is in fact attached to our heads; now it is just a matter of getting to it. When we are capable of visualizing a thing, a goal, or a relationship so totally that we can feel it and believe it, that is not the work of our imagination, it is simply piercing the veil into the truth of what is really ours. When we are taught that the appropriate prayer for receiving what we want is a prayer of thanks for having it already, it is truly appropriate. The reason being that we do actually have it already. “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…” (Mark 11:24)

Understanding this does not change the fact that it is in front of us and not in our hands. We must still do the work of reaching for it whatever that may entail. The difference is that if we know that it is actually ours and there is a way that it can be reached, we can remove our confusion, and our doubt. We may simply focus on getting it. This still requires faith. If I know that the thing that I desire is behind one of the doors before me, I will get it.

We are here to learn lessons, to grow, to perfect our souls. This is done through our experiences here on earth. We all have our own destiny, our own path along which lies our personal lessons and our, “haves”. In order to reach each of our “haves” we must pass through different experiences, and in order to hold onto our, “haves” we must again go through lesson.

An infant has a burning desire, an obsession to raise its head. It is not really a goal from our point of view; it is a step toward standing and walking. It is simply a step in the path of development for a human being. However to that infant it is the end product. That infant cannot focus on anything else until it reaches that goal. Then it moves to the goal of turning over. Well, we do not spend our entire lives rolling over, even though while striving for that goal, to the infant, it is complete in itself.

We can only see the horizon and consider reaching it as our goal. However, each horizon turns into another. Each horizon takes us closer to God. When we finally reach the horizon, we are there. This is also how it works with our “haves”.
The stronger the desire is that one has, the more one is connected to that, “innate knowing”. There really is no such thing as a desire. A desire is really the veil that covers one’s destiny. We cannot desire what is not ours, just as the donkey could not desire the carrot if it were not visible in front of it’s face twenty four hours a day.

I am not referring to the desire that comes from envy, or from wanting what someone else has. That is not a desire for the thing in itself it is a desire for the feeling that the other person exhibits from having whatever it is. If I know that what I want is definitely in front of me; that it is definitely behind one of the doors that I am facing, even though I must still find which door and face what ever challenges lie before me, I know that it is mine. The difference is that I will reach it because I know that it will be there whenever and however I get there. Most of all I know that I will get there.

When we are clear and able to focus on the journey and the process and are not confused by doubt or fear then we are able to listen and accept the guidance that is constantly given to us on our path to attainment. We can learn our lessons as we travel because we are awake to our journey and not lost in fear.

It is important to understand that the lesson, is the process and the process contains the journey, the journeyer and the destination.