God Is An Ocean

It is about the journey of the soul

Archive for the category “love”

The Suffering of Mother Teresa Was Religious not Spiritual

“It is not enough for us to say: ‘I love God,’ but I also have to love my neighbor. St. John says that you are a liar if you say you love God and you don’t love your neighbor. How can you love God whom you do not see, if you do not love your neighbor whom you see, whom you touch, with whom you live? And so it is very important for us to realize that love, to be true, has to hurt. I must be willing to give whatever it takes not to harm other people and, in fact, to do good to them. This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise, there is not true love in me and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.” – Mother Teresa

I am familiar with love and with pain; and when I have felt pain, while loving, the pain was never caused by the act of loving, it was caused by the actions of the ones I loved. To me, it is like a hose – the faucet is turned on, the hose fills up and the water pours out. And so the process is like this, one’s being is filled with love – so filled that it must be released out towards another being, towards God, or even towards nature itself. Still, it is a filling up of the heart and soul with love and so long as that love is being released, the vessel is being constantly filled. Being filled with love leaves no room for pain. I recall a story that Wayne Dyer told about a woman with a disabled daughter, totally bedridden for many years, and for all of those years the mother lovingly stayed by her side, changing her diaper, feeding her, loving her. She did this without it hurting, other than perhaps the empathy that she felt for her daughter. After being moved by the enormous suffering of Mother Teresa I went back over the things that she had said, and I cannot imagine an instance where love hurts.

The act of giving does not hurt either. Again, giving is a gesture from the heart. What does hurt is when we do not give from our hearts but we give because we feel we must. In doing this, we are not giving in essence we are taking from ourselves. Another quote from Mother Teresa which stood out to me was this:

“I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn’t touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.”

 

I was never much on placing importance on the death of Jesus, but I was deeply inspired by his life. I don’t believe that the value of a life should be overshadowed by the manner of death. After all, no matter how you cut it, living takes a lot more work than dying, and living an exemplary life, at any time, trumps an exemplary death. I read a bumper sticker the other day that really brought the point home, it said, “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you are car.” In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus’ followers asked him, basically, how to get to Heaven, a question he never seemed to answer to the satisfaction of the questioner.

[6]. His disciples asked and said to him: “Do you want us to fast? How shall we pray, how shall we give alms, what rules concerning eating shall we follow?” Jesus says: “Tell no lie, and whatever you hate, do not do: for all these things are manifest to the face of heaven; nothing hidden will fail to be revealed and nothing disguised will fail before long to be made public!”

When I was young, I was given the impression that I was not really capable of amounting to anything in the world. So, when I became successful in my own business I bought many very expensive things, jewelry, art – things that said I had made it. These were my trophies that I told myself I would never let go of, they proved my ability to succeed. But as my life would have it, my health caused me to leave my business and it reached a point in my life that to keep a roof over the heads of my children, I would have to sell my trophies. They were the only proof that I had left. While I was struggling with this I read a book on the Kabala and it said that we should gather everything that we believe that we can live without in order to give it away, but then, after we have gathered everything that we feel we can manage without we should then double it and give it away. The essence of it was that only the ego attaches to things, only the ego benefits from things, and not the soul. This allowed me to ‘give’ those things for the good of my family without pain, because I knew that in doing so I was purging my ego. My husband, feeling badly for the sacrifice that I had made promised to replace all that I had given, but I did not want them back, giving it opened my heart and freed my ego, I felt gratitude and joy.

Using the parable of the seeds as an example, the things that we do so that God will know our love for Him, are the seeds that fall by the wayside. They are a lie, the heart is not in the action itself. For Mother Teresa to see a leper and feel to herself that she wouldn’t touch him for a thousand pounds, says that in the depth of her heart she does not see Jesus in that leper. The act of curing that leper is an act of doing what you should do, like fasting or going to church, but it is not heartfelt and so the heart derives no joy from the act, in fact, it causes pain because of the feeling of uselessness of the sacrifice. To sacrifice is to make sacred, but only the heart can make sacred.

In Mother Teresa’s youth she was filled with an ecstatic love for Jesus and for the work that he did in his life. She was filled with the spirit of Christianity, but the church robbed her of that. The church robbed her of the loving Jesus, the joyous Jesus, the Jesus free of ego attachments and laws, filled only with the desire to Love, teach and heal his brothers. The church forced her to believe that only through suffering could she find the love of Jesus, only through suffering would she feel the love of Jesus, and worst of all, that only through teaching the value of suffering to others could she save their souls for Jesus. The teachings of the church were in direct contradiction to the yearnings of her heart, and because she believed the church to be the appointed messenger of God, she deafened her heart to its cries, and dedicated herself to the work, but without the spirit in the work, without the love in the work, she was empty and alone, not seeing God and not feeling his Love. She loved Jesus, but she could not feel his love because she was indoctrinated only towards his suffering. There are many Saints who are marked by their “Dark Night Of The Soul”, but each one emerged with a greater sense of mysticism and spirituality and a far lesser sense of righteousness of religious doctrine.

She gave her life to the God that she loved, but she was denied the fullness of His love in her heart, not by God but by the church that taught not the beauty and joy of love, but only the vows of suffering. I feel that it is a crime for her suffering to be used by atheists as proof that there is no God, but I believe equally that it is a crime for the church to use her suffering as an example of the natural path of a true Christian.

“Love Is Not Sought – It Is The Seeker

The Two Halves:

From Summons it is known that male and female were created together as their two bodies were connected at the backs. There is no energetic connection and no interrelation between them until they disconnect and turn face to face. Rabbi Shimon said that a union of male and female is called “Oneness” because a male without a female is considered as “half person”. A man and a woman are considered by the Kabbalah as one soul that its two halves were enrobed in two physical bodies. Only when the two halves are connected, they become “one” complete soul. And so it happens by the will of God, that from the moment of birth until the moment of union the two halves of the soul are departed and remote from each other. Sometimes the distance is large and the two halves are oceans and continents apart. At the moment of union, they become one essence.

We can keep a body functioning indefinitely through artificial means, but only a soul can give it life. The body kept animated through artificial means is not alive. It is an organic robot. Only the soul can live and only the soul can love. When we love, it is not something that we create, and it is not something that we discover – it is something that we remember. The person with whom we share love has awakened within our souls a memory of divine union, a perfect fit that can only be created spiritually. So the idea of making someone fall in love with us, is to me, unnatural.

Love is a cord that connects us to our spiritual source. If real, it offers us a glimpse of that which is beyond knowing. It opens our hearts not simply to the object of our love, but to love itself, the love and oneness of all. It is divine and it is eternal. Of that love, it is possible to say, that “it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved”. It is possible to say this because, if authentic, it is never lost. Just as it is never found, it is remembered; it is awakened. There is the story told in many forms of a person who wishes for the love of another and a genie, a fairy, or some acquired spell, brings to that person the lover that they wanted. And soon, in every tale, that person who longed for the love of the other becomes heartbroken overwhelmed by despair knowing that the love, however devoted and beautiful, is manipulated, manufactured, soulless.

There are books teaching the art of attracting a marriage partner. In the end, it is never satisfying believing that we made someone else love us. Love comes from the same source as life. It is the reunion of souls promised to each other before birth. Anything else is a cheap knockoff, an ultimately painful fit. In advertising artists create hamburgers that look mouthwatering. But to eat one, would make you sick, if it did not kill you because it is not made of food, it is made to look like food. This is the same as creating a persona to lure a partner into our lives. The persona is empty, and betrays both parties, poisons them or just leaves them malnourished.

We enter this dream that we call life, into a family. That family is chosen because all of the needs of all of the participating souls can be met through this union. The individual souls in this family may not be related to all or any of the other souls within it. They into this family because they will be bound together long enough and in the type of social environment that requires the working through of whatever issues they came in to deal with. Children choose their families because they will be trapped within this unit long enough to be imprinted with whatever is needed for their spiritual growth on this material plane. Our experience within this family is determined by whether we are meant to grow within it or from our ability to survive and escape it.

Sometimes a family comes together because there is karma to be balanced between souls within the unit. The souls have so little in common that no other situation would bind them in a way that would resolve it. This is a union built on the loving premise of growth, but not necessarily the loving bond that exists between soul mates.

The idea of family here, (as above so below) comes from the knowledge of our spiritual family. They never desert us. They are always somewhere in the vicinity of times of need. Sometimes our paths are too different to allow time for more than a chance meeting and the words that we need to hear in that moment. We call them Angels, and they are, but in the sense that is personal to us. Sometimes they gather as friends circle around us from a distance, and somehow, as we draw closer to a time of great trial, the circle draws nearer and nearer until at the moment that we are in our greatest need, they are around us to catch us if we fall, and protect us from incoming assaults. We call them friends, but they are brothers and sisters of our souls and have been since we, together, chose to venture into this valley of the shadow of death. This love is expressed with or without words. This love, the love of our soul family hears the cries of our hearts and not the protests of our egos. It is another form of love. It cannot be bought, it cannot be built, it can only be realized. It was before time, and will be after time, that is why time and circumstance have no effect on it.

We are sparks of the Divine, we are ideas. The Divine contains innumerable ideas, and innumerable manifestations of each one. A soul family consists of many expressions of one manifestation of one idea. So, at the core, and within all channels that flow from the core – we fit. The fit allows flow. We are words in a sentence, we each have a place as noun, pronoun, adjective, verb, adverb, etc… Together we flow. Together we have a meaning that cannot be misinterpreted and so, with so complete an understanding there is no judgment, no competition because we all have a place in the Divine sentence that we express. This is love.

I have a very close friend who came in to learn and grow through the suffering that can be contained in relationships. And her reward is the experience of love in the highest state attained through a relationship. Only for all of the years that I have known her, it has been a painful string of suffering. I tried to tell her to stop the relationships and find some joy in being alone. Of course, although that sounded like the logical thing to do, I was not wise enough at the time to realize that the track, the only track that her train could ride was the track of relationships. So, we agreed that I would use Astrology and any other gifts that she had to sensor all of the applicants for the role of her partner. That got tired very quickly as she, too long in between relationships inundated me with birth data for each woman that she met. And I realized that by the time I found the paper that I had written the information on, she would already be over the woman or the woman over her. So, I stopped putting effort into figuring out who was right or wrong, because history had proven that none of them were right. But I did notice one thing. Every woman that she wanted to be “the one”, all looked alike. She had a very definite type.

One day she asked me to look at a chart and before I gave it any thought, I actually did. Then she asked me to look at the woman’s picture which entailed much more work than I would have ever done under normal circumstances. So, as I was logging in here, and searching there, it occurred to me that somewhere inside I must know that this is the “one”. When I finally made my way to the woman’s picture, two thoughts ran through my mind simultaneously. One was that this woman was her type, and the other was, that this was the “one”. As hard as it was to make a commitment to something that my logical mind had long since disregarded as possible, I told her this was the one. And when they met, it was instantly clear to each of them that each was the one the other was dreaming of, praying for and seeking.

For me, I felt that I had learned something very new. I learned that all of the women who physically fit the mold of my friend’s type, were not her type at all. Imprinted in her psyche was the image of her true other half. She could make it out enough to fall head over heels with everyone who resembled her eternal lover. And the great Unnamable, Unknowable One, dressed each soul committed to teach her the lessons that she needed to discover her power, value, and greatness in bodies that would draw her to them like a moth to a flame.

We cannot attract a sunny day, nor control the direction and strength of an earthquake. Putting on a raincoat will not entice the rain to fall, nor will putting on a sundress lure the rain to stop. No amount of money, or the toys that money can buy, and no amount of doors money can open or connections that money can bring, can come close to helping us to survive what lies ahead of us, once we realize that all we have has come at the cost of love. If courage comes after we do the thing that we most fear, and not before, then it is understandable that full belief in our value and our worthiness of being loved, comes after we have risked allowing ourselves to be loved without seeking the answer to why. One, who will love us, will first see our souls, and love them fully. Then, as an afterthought, will notice that the material manifestation of who we are, is beautiful too, but the thing is, that this will be seen through the eyes of love so it will be seen as a reflection of the inner being that is loved. This is why, we grow old together, yet, our love does not see old. It sees the ageless, timeless, unchanging beauty that can only be love.

Every Cloud don’t Have A Silver Lining – Surviving being dumped

The first man I fell truly, madly, deeply for was the first man who broke my heart.When I met him, I believed that I had found my forever.I would not let anyone tell me otherwise, though many tried.He saw me and loved me for who I was and that was all that mattered to me.

It began to deteriorate after about nine months.I begun compromising myself for the sake of keeping the relationship going.After a year he was not the man that I fell in love with, but what was so much more painful was that I was not the woman he fell in love with.I was not even the woman who fell in love with him.

The Answer

To why I lost you

Lies in the place

I left me.

No one ever leaves a relationship before its expiration date.I don’t care if it the immediate cause is another woman, another man, or just a better life.The relationship had already reached a point of diminishing return.Most of us have a tendency to stay in a relationship long after it has become moldy and begun to stink up our lives.We stay for many reasons, but the greatest reason is the emotional investment.It is like investing in a stock.We invest in a great stock and as it rises in value we increase our investment.Then it starts going down, little by little.We hold – knowing that it will go up again; we hope that it will go up again at least enough to break even.We don’t sell because until we sell, we don’t realize the loss.

In a relationship, the initial investment is time is very low in comparison to the enormous return of happiness.We invest our love, our dreams, our beliefs, then our trust and commitment. If it begins to lose the value that it once had, we start increasing our investment by over-compensating, giving more of ourselves, giving all of ourselves, and in the end, giving up ourselves. When that does not work, and the signs of a failed relationship begin to show to the world – we up the ante by investing our pride, and as a last resort our integrity.Then one party finds a way out – finds a way to recoup some of his or her emotional investment through another woman or man.Someone who will re-establish the value, the self worth that we feel we have lost through having over invested in a relationship that has nothing left to return.But this does not happen out of the blue, if it’s an affair, it is kept secret while the other partner still believes both are equally vested, even if they are vested in a sinking stock.Yet, it’s not equal.One partner is secretly siphoning off his share of the emotional investment and putting it into another stock.This doesn’t have to be another person, it could be a plan to see the world, join an ashram, it doesn’t matter.One partner had found a way to begin rebuilding his emotional portfolio while the other still believes they are in it together.One partner has his entire being immersed in the relationship while the other has been quietly extricating herself.Then – when the departing partner feels secure enough that the new investment will assist in recouping what was lost.He or she abruptly – in the eyes of the partner being left behind – closes the account.All of the emotional losses fall on the partner who remained.

By the time a relationship comes to an end through the actions of one of the partners, the only thing left the investment is its definition.The one who was left behind believed that, as long as there was a shell and two participants, there was hope, and, even more importantly, believed that he had nothing left to leave with – everything was spent, was invested.A relationship ends when it has stopped growing, the only reason anything stops growing is that it is dead.The only thing that happens when one party ends the relationship is, the loss is realized by the partner left behind.By the time one party leaves a relationship the only thing left to do is bury the rotting corpse.There is no bond left, there is no shared vision, no shared desire, no shared hopes – nothing left to save or to hold onto.

It is devastating to be left.This is true even if most of the time we can no longer stand to see our partner’s face, because by this time the lack of return is equal to our diminished expectations. By this time our only hope is that our partner is willing to settle for as little as we are.It hurts to be left, and when it happens we just want that person back, it doesn’t matter if they are mean to us, or abusive to us, or ignores us, or humiliate us, we just want him back.But if we stop to think about what we are willing to endure to have that person return, we will realize that the things that we are now willing to endure are things that we would never have considered suffering for anyone.Of course, those were things that we would never do when we still had self-respect.And it feels very much like that leaves with our former other half.The reason that we are willing to humiliate ourselves is not because we want that person back.It is because we want ourselves back. We don’t want the person back who left us; we just want to be unleft.We don’t want to feel like someone worthless enough to be left behind, it’s not about the one who leaves us – it’s about what we feel that we are left with.

A funny thing happened to me on my way to, “Losers Anonymous”.I heard a song that had one line in it that said, “Every cloud don’t have a silver lining”.It is funny, but that changed my life.I realized that he was, or at least had become an a—hole, and there was no silver lining in this cloud.It wasn’t the loss of him, or even of us that I was mourning so deeply, it was the belief that I could have made it work because it was workable.It was workable because every cloud has a silver lining.It was workable because I believe that ‘all you need is love’.So, if I had love then I was just the biggest loser in the world because nothing else could explain my standing here alone.But that song made me realize that if something has a limited shelf life, like my relationship had, I did not lose it, break it, mess it up, or ruin it.

I had made a huge emotional investment in the relationship.But the only way that I would be forced to realize a loss, was if I still believed that there was something left for him to offer me.And I really didn’t – we left each other long before he left the relationship.So, what I lost was the part of me that I invested in the relationship and if I could now gain insight and growth, I would not only recoup my investment, but I could turn a profit, because the stock of Me, Inc. had risen remarkably.Whenever someone walks out, they are doing us a favor because for us, there just is no more water in that well.Those we love may die, and cause us to feel a temporary sense of separation, but anyone who we truly love will never leave us in spirit. They move on to what is next for their growth, and allow us to do the same, and all in the spirit of the love that we shared.

Regardless of what we tell ourselves in the moment while we are looking at our joint plans shattered on the floor around us, we knew that we had nothing more to share with the one who left long before the door closed behind him.And after the pity party, and the hangover – comes the enlightenment of a new and stronger sense of self-worth and an even greater sense of power than we ever had before the experience.

FOUND

In pain

I found strength

In lies

I found truth

In deceit

I found trust

In being lost

I found my way

And in rejection

I found myself.

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