Finding Peace, Finding Heaven, by feeling middle C

And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. 7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. 8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. “ Genesis 1:6-8

Faith is knowledge, far greater than belief, it is the knowledge that we are no alone; that we are never  vulnerable, and that there exists no adversity greater than the power we have behind and within us to overcome.  This knowledge is imprinted in the soul.  It is the power that causes everything on earth to grow up, despite the enormous pull of gravity to prevent that.  Faith is the core of the soul.  Fear, is the knowledge of the ego that it is temporary, that it dies to the dreamer when the dreamer awakens.  The ego is not a bad thing, its connection with the material world keeps the body alive.

The soul does not fear nonexistence, because it knows that whether it is has solid form like ice, or flows like water, or even dissipates into the air, like steam, it always is itself.  The soul knows only faith, the ego knows only fear.  And we come in as vessels to learn from the interplay of both.  Every light, peaceful, steady, uplifting emotion emanates from faith; love emanates from faith.  Every painful, hateful, heavy emotion, including greed, judgment, selfishness and bigotry, comes from the survival mechanism of the ego which is fear.

We incarnate (enter meat) in a physical body with physical needs and physical proof that we will not be here long if we do not meet the needs of the physical vehicle.  Faith is intangible,

I know so many people who live their lives in a state of anguish. Drowning in emotions, in fear of never being happy, in sadness when life disappoints seeing disappointment as a sign that happiness is not to be hoped for. Most of the people I love are prisoners living behind invisible bars that no one can see. The bars consist of open wounds, which no one can see. Life is like an ocean, sometimes calm, and other times the waves are relentless.

Ocean waves

For many life feels like a walk at the edge of this ocean while it looks so beautiful,  the reality of it is more like waves of salt water on invisible open wounds . Those who live with these wounds, feel them to be safe. Just as a person who has spent most of his or her life in prison, finds it safe, becoming repeat offenders committing crimes to return to prison. A place others might find to be the equivalent of hell. They find safe because it is the hell that they know.

There is something else about emotional pain, it creates a strange sense of being fully alive. Living is feeling. Feeling reminds us that we exist. It really does not matter what we feel, but as long as we feel, whatever we feel, we know that we are alive. When I lost my store I went into the abyss of depression. I felt abandoned by everyone I had been there for. I felt alone, unloved, unimportant, and most of all invisible. The only thing that surrounded me, and in the strangest way, validated my existence was my suffering, and I grew to need my suffering. I forgot that I did not have to suffer to exist. I had not realized that I did not need to crumble under the weight of my life to be worthy enough, deserving enough…of help.

So, when Prozac came out, many people who lived in constant suffering whether it was sadness or anger took this miracle medication and initially felt thrilled that the dark cloud that seemed to hover over them was gone. Yet, eventually they missed that ability to feel. Some people called it their “edge”, others just felt numb. They did not really feel alive anymore. This made them stop the Prozac and eventually re-enter the depression battle. The thing with that antidepressant is that it veils the emotions in this dense fog. And frankly, when I thought about the middle way discussed by Buddhism, about being in the world and not of it,as mentioned in the Bible, I thought of Prozac. I thought of being without feelings.

Now, I have realized that the middle road does not mask feelings. I asked for something that I could equate it to, and what came to me was, the middle C on the piano, the “do” in, “do, re, ,me, fa, so, la ti” which has always been, to me, the richest note on the piano.  It is rich because it is where all the notes, all the feelings are equal in power, and equal in intensity. It is the point where high and low meet, even touch, but neither consumes the space. It is the point of pure balance. It is where sunrise and sunset are one., where the light sits on the deep.

At the lowest end of the keyboard, it is deep yet there is something unsteady about the notes, something rough.  At the highest end the notes are tinny they are weak.  The middle path, is full; it is not rising or falling, but knowing both.  It is walking on water not drowning in it, while still feeling the light of the Sun.  It is experiencing life while still being firmly planted in the Self.  It is middle C, where we begin and where we return.

Today we live in turbulent times, and they are not going to change.  We can allow ourselves to be thrown to and fro by the the rising and falling waves, or we can plant our feet firmly in the sand and allow the waves of life to pass through us, breathing them in and releasing them back out.  Life is out of our control, but living is not.  If we want to find joy, it is middle C.  We must travel the firmament – The Way, The Tao:

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn’t possess,
acts but doesn’t expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

Tao Te Ching

THE AIR WE FEEL

We understand that the quality of our physical health has a great deal to do with the air that we breathe. When there is pollution in the air, it has an adverse affect on our lungs and our overall health. Too much pollution in the air can threaten our lives. Environmentalists have gone to great lengths to help us fight pollution in our physical atmosphere.

What about the air that our souls breathe, the emotional atmosphere? Just as we all share same air, our souls also share the same emotional and spiritual atmosphere. That atmosphere is the God stuff, which connects all of us. Our feelings of joy, sorry, indifference, pain, love, and hate all go into the common air that our souls breathe.

Everyone is not sensitive to the energy around them just as everyone is not sensitive to pollution or secondhand smoke, but many people are. Many people are sensitive to secondhand misery.

Animals are completely in tune with the earth and their environment. Notice how they act when there is an impending earthquake or hurricane or notice how a pet reacts when its owner is sad. Animals are at one with their environment, what happens around them happens to them.

There is an increasing number of souls who are also in tune with their environments, not necessarily their physical environments, but the emotional ones, which they share with every other soul on earth. They are tuned in and reacting to emotions that are not even their own and wondering why these unconnected feelings engulf them.

For a very long time, the greater emotional environment affected comparatively few people. Most were only affected by the emotions emanating from those nearest to them. However, children who grew up in the fifties and sixties grew up during a very critical time in this country. Women particularly mothers were in a state of transformation. Their unrest was repressed for the most part. Mothers who were raised to aspire to nothing more than being a wife and mother were questioning their choices and so their lives.

Not that they did not love their families, but there was a whole new adventure opening up for women, a whole new exciting world was appearing before their eyes but out of their reach. There were many feelings that women were unable to express or even make sense of within themselves.

This undercurrent of emotion jarred the energy in even the best of homes. Children grew up in an atmosphere where there was often as much going on under the surface as there was on the surface as their mothers grappled with the strange new desires that were boiling up from within. Being spiritually connected to mother, children needed to sharpen their antennae. They needed to feel what was happening around them as much as hear and see in order to maintain their sense of security and connection.

Beyond the intimate emotions affecting the mothers, the entire country was experiencing a heightened level of preparedness. The cold was looming all around while air raid shelters were built underground. This state of preparedness necessitated a heightened state of awareness never knowing when and from where the attack would come.

Children during the fifties and early sixties had to hide under their desks for air raid drills. It caused them again to open up their sixth sense in order to keep up with fear of impending doom. Just as children learn to walk and talk, these children learned to sense, to be always aware of what we could not see or hear because the enemy was somewhat invisible.

Thus, children began to have a heightened awareness that their parents did not have. They were affected by a much larger environment than had affected children before. These children grew up during a time when there was more to fear from that which could not be seen than from that which could and so they became tuned in to a higher frequency than their parents. This sense of fear and dissatisfaction having no recognizable source was perceived by the children as being their own when in fact it was much larger. These children drank in the general sadness in their country and simultaneously fed into it as well.

They were born in a time when the earth herself was accelerating her vibration, as the earth accelerates so do we as a part of her. This change in vibration creates a disturbance among the creatures of the earth and the physical properties of the earth herself. So, we have enormous earth changes disasters of great proportions. This causes suffering among the animals and mankind. As the suffering enters the energy field, those who are sensitive become depressed because they are so deeply connected to the energy.

Things have not become better, they have only become worse. The energy coming from the Middle East is one of intense suffering between terrorism, hatred, fear, despair and oppression. Africa is dying and the wails of the slow torturous death of AIDS are felt within all who are connected but especially those who are acutely sensitive.

There is more suffering than joy in the world today; more empty bellies and empty plates than full. The world is in a constant state of mourning and only the sensitive few are aware of it. Sadly, they don’t even know why they feel death in the pit of their stomachs and so they seek medication.

We believe that what we don’t see, does not touch us. Well we can only avoid being affected if we don’t feel. It is easy to say that it is God’s will. But if it were Gods will we would not be so sad. Joy comes from doing God’s will not depression. This is God’s challenge; it is God’s test of our connection to Spirit. It is Gods will that every creature that He loved enough to give life to, be given a chance to live and be fruitful. He created mankind and gave man the ability to reach across all boundaries and love, and told man to love his brother as himself. We will ease our own suffering by easing the suffering of our brothers. God created the earth and made her bountiful. But her bounty is only enough for all, if all limit their portions to enough. It is God’s will that we be given the choice of more for me, or enough for all.

It is the Universal energy that is clinically depressed; only a growing number of us are too sensitive to be immune to it. This country is suffering from EIDS, emotional immune deficiency syndrome. We cannot stay immune to the emotions that are all around us in the world. The country that we live in is not a place, it is an ideal. The souls born here and the souls drawn here are keenly infused with the ideals on which this country was founded. Those words held in the hands of the statue of liberty are etched in our hearts. We may try to turn our backs on those tired, poor, huddled masses, but we cannot turn our hearts, we were not built the same way as everyone else.

We have a greater privilege being in this country and along with that comes a greater responsibility to the world as a whole because just as it says in the song, we are the world. We here represent the hopes and dreams of every nation on this earth. The hearts of our founding fathers looked to the future of Americans to fulfill the greatness of their dreams of a better world. The founding fathers believed that if they created the Constitution, one day, we would exemplify it as a beacon to the world. This is the only nation in the entire world that was not established on a foundation of what was, but on a foundation of what could and even more, should be. And maybe one day we really will, but if we continue to extend our weapons instead of our hearts, that day may come too late for everyone. Because whether we know it or not, we are all deeply heart sick, and the rampant depression is a symptom of that sickness. We carry within our collective genes a bit of every race, creed, and national origin on this earth. Their cries are our cries. Their hunger is our hunger because in the greatest sense, they are us.

We Can Choose To Be Happy

n this dream I was shown symbols. They symbolized us. We were letters much like the ones above. The bottom portion was soil, in which seeds were planted, and then above the soil was the harvest of those seeds. In my dream I was told that together we form words and the words that we form create the reality that we live. We could call the words – the collective unconscious that Jung spoke of.

These words formed a reality based upon the belief system of the souls who were incarnated during a period of time. It would be like the foundation or core curricula of the lesson we all came in to learn through. All life forms on earth do not live in the same reality, or belief system. The ant does not live in the reality in respect to the laws of Newtonian physics – they naturally lift many times their body weight on a daily basis. The bumble bee lives in the same reality as the ant because it too lifts itself off of the ground although it is not physically capable of it according to Newtonian physics. But that fits in later. It was not what the core teaching of the dream was about.

Last night, I was watching 60 minutes and Joel Osteen was on. He has a positive message, one that seems too positive for many Christian Evangelists. One such Preacher that was asked to comment on his message said that it was an easy listening kind of Christianity – he asked, “Where’s the suffering for salvation?” Where and why the suffering for salvation was formed the fundamental message of my dream. I never believed in the idea that we had to suffer to be ‘saved’. I did not believe that we had to be ‘saved’, but I did believe that suffering was important for the soul.

There are those, like the Buddhists who do not believe that we have to suffer at all, and, they don’t. You don’t hear stories of long painful bouts with Cancer among Buddhist monks. They seem to know when it is time to die and they do so. Then there are the Taoists whose teaching is not much different than Ecclesiastes, that there is a time for everything and the wise being lives in the flow of that timing, if one does so – there will be no suffering.

Basically, I believed that we had to push through suffering – in other words suffer through suffering, until we were beaten down enough to let go – then we could flow. But, in my view, the journey through the suffering to the freedom from suffering was the difficult journey of the seed to becoming the ripe harvest. The seed, struggles through the dirt, around the stones, until finally it breaks through the ground (internal journey) now it has to make its way at the mercy of the elements (external struggle) to finally become the harvest. “No“, they told me in my dream, “Your suffering is not God’s choice for you.” “No”, they said, “Your suffering does not turn you into anything, it does not transform you from a seed to the harvest, or from the caterpillar to the butterfly”. “You all”, they told me, “who are incarnated over this time of your known history, have chosen to work through a belief that suffering perfects the soul for return to God. But your journey is not to perfect yourselves it is to see yourselves as the perfect image of the God from which you have been created. You have chosen suffering as your means, and so you write a world of separation, hatred, fear, judgment, prejudice, disease, war, lack, and limits – but that is not the path determined by God, it is the path chosen by you.” They showed me, through the symbolism of letters that we are the soil, the seed and the ripe harvest – from the moment that our souls are born. We have chosen suffering as a means of opening our eyes, widening our view of ourselves from only the view of the soil, to growing enough to see ourselves not as the soil, or the seed, or even the harvest, but as all three – as always perfect and complete.

The story of Jesus is the story of a life lived in love, generosity, integrity, compassion, wisdom, humility, and the joy of knowing faith, knowing God, and knowing love. In terms of the number of days in his life, Jesus suffered only a very short time, we have chosen to build our story on those few days of suffering - and to ignore the life lived in compassion, generosity, love and joy. Millions have suffered and died from the moment that we decided the message was in the suffering death rather than the life lived in forgiveness, generosity, compassion and love. They died through the torture of heretics, the crusades, the inquisition and on through the killings still going on today. Why was he crucified? It is easy to say that the Jews did it, but they did not do it, people did it, people who believed in suffering and torture, like the people who went on as Christians to kill those considered heretics, those Christians who believed in worshiping Jesus another way, the Jews and the Muslims who worshiped God their way, and committing genocide against all of those Indians in Latin America who would not be converted. Did he die so that others could suffer the same torturous fate or worse in his name? Or did he live his life teaching that we should all embrace love as a means to seeing our true selves – instead of suffering? When he said that God’s House had many rooms, did they think that it meant it was a Christian Comfort Inn?

1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Before the world was created there was only God. Therefore the world was created out of God. No soul, no creature, created out of God is less than perfect. We do not need to be saved; we do not need to be transformed, purified, or cleansed – we just need to love enough to see that we are all sewn from the same cloth – we are all dyed by the same Dyer. Our souls already are all that they can be.

I know now, that suffering does not cleanse the soul because the soul does not need cleansing. It does not transform the soul because the soul does not need transforming. We are the last of the suffering generations. We are learning, but we need not learn through suffering, it is not a required course – it is an elective that we have all too eagerly embraced.

Let us begin choosing joy by learning the secret of the ant and the bumble bee. They each individually have the strength of a thousand, because they each contain a thousand. What one does, one does for all and so the power of all becomes the power of one. This we cannot see – if we only see the description of the world and not the spirit behind the description. If we all become one, then one can say to the mountain “move” and the mountain will move.

There is a story told in Kabbalah:

With an angel for his guide, the visitor is first ushered through the gates of Hell, which, he is surprised to find, are made of finely wrought gold. The gates, in fact, are incomparably lovely, as is the verdant land­scape that lies beyond them. All this is quite astonish­ing to the visitor, who turns to his angelic guide in disbelief. “It’s all so beautiful,” the man says. “The sight of the meadows and mountains . . . the sounds of the birds singing in the trees … the scent of thousands of flowers. . . .” And then another scent catches his atten­tion: the aroma of food being prepared.

The angel leads the visitor toward an immense ban­quet table laden with every sort of delicacy. However, something is terribly wrong. Hundreds of people are seated around the table, but they all appear to be starv­ing. Their emaciated condition is painful to see in the midst of such bounty, but even worse is the frustration and anger they are obviously experiencing. Each person at the table has a long-handled spoon chained to his wrist. The handles are so long that no one can place food in his mouth. But that does not prevent the con­demned souls from trying. For all eternity, they are struggling to feed themselves a meal that is right before them, but that might as well be a hundred miles away. Taken aback by the tragic spectacle, the visitor is now more than ready to visit Paradise, and the angel immediately complies. At once they pass through an­other set of golden gates, alike in every detail to the gates of hell. In fact, a great deal about the two locales seems to be identical, including the banquet table and the diners chained to their utensils. But the people around this table are well fed and happy, despite the fact that their circumstances are identical to those of the damned. The difference is not in the physical situa­tion, but in how they respond to it. As you might have guessed by now, instead of trying to feed themselves, each of the souls at this table feeds the one across the table.