Every relationship that we have that has an impact on our lives, however long they last are nothing less than a contract, entered into between two souls for reasons that are always based in love. Because souls are the purest form of the energy of love. When a relationship ends, one or both of the parties feels the burden of loss. One or both of the people involved feels that something was broken, stolen, or violated. This is the norm.
The person who is left, or driven to leave is told that it was a mistake, being with that person was a mistake. Sometimes we focus on the years lost, opportunities missed, the could haves, would haves and should haves, instead of the did haves. The failure of a relationship does not happen during the relationship, it happens during the end of the relationship. When my heart was broken, I learned that it was not his fault for breaking it, it was my fault for giving it rather than opening it. An open heart cannot be broken and a heart once given cannot be retrieved. To open your heart to another person is to let them in. If you give your heart to someone you have already broken it, because it is the place where the Divine enters the world through you. Each time we open our hearts to someone we are given a gift.
No one enters a life without a gift. It could be someone who is abusive, and the gift is the lesson of owning, believing in, and taking our own power. It could be someone who steals those things that mean the most to us. The gift is the lesson on non-attachment. When I was growing up my father and mother convinced me that I could never succeed in the world. Then, without that as a goal, it just happened. I bought many things, things that I told myself I would never part with because they were my trophies, my proof that I could make it. Then because of a man in my life I was forced to sell every one of them, the pain was great, my fear of no longer having proof that I was more than I was told I could be made me feel that I would once again disappear into being nothing if I did not have my proofs. But my family needed to eat. So I sought all spiritual answers as to how to do what I had to do. I found it in Cabala. I picked up a book, and God opened the book to the page that I needed to read. It said that we should gather all of that which we believe that we cannot let go of. Then we should double that and give it all away. Because it is only the ego that clings to things, release the things, you release the ego.
This gave me the ability to let these things go, and let them go forever with no desire to ever have them returned or replaced because only in letting them go, could I finally free myself of the ego I had tried so hard to free myself of. It was one of the greatest moments in my life and I could never have received that gift had it not bee for the relationship that forced me to sell those things for my family. That relationship forced me to reestablish my communication with Spirit. Because on my knees, with all hope fading, I found God waiting to fill my emptiness with that which something that had no expiration date because it was not of the transient world, it was of the eternal Spirit.
There are no bad relationships, only relationships soured because we believe in endings when endings do not exist. Every relationship is a gift, a gift given and a gift received. And the greatness of a relationship is not in its longevity but in the fullness of its gifts. All of my relationships raised me, all of my relationships taught me, all of my relationships made me greater than I could ever have been had they not been in my life. All of my relationships fill me with gratitude, and those whom I have once love, I will eternally love, because it is all of those relationships each one, without exception that have made me know that whether in this life, or the next, I am the woman, who is ready for the crown, of the relationship that will not fill a need, not end my loneliness, not slay my dragons, but will be the relationship that completes me.
In Kabala, it is said that there is that one soul, the one and only soul above all others that is our spiritual mate. That we may not meet that soul in every life, but when we do it is a power so great that it fills the world with love. It is a power so great that even if the two are married to other people is the the obligation of those other people to release the souls to be together because of the greatness of the light and the power of its gift to the world. Every relationship is contracted for a time. During its time it fills, beyond its time it drains. We must know, with the highest gratitude, at all times, the greatness of the gifts that lie between the beginning and the end of a relationship. If we can do this, we can also celebrate the end, and know that eternal love that is forever alive between the souls who made the contract. Then we will allow our relationships to move to a new level of love, while we live, not wait for death to see the love that was always there. We will then learn to celebrate the end of a relationship with the joy and anticipation that s inherent in every graduation. There are no straight lines in world of spiritual beings, only circles, spirals, where every end is the door to a great new beginning. Our vows should be, one day, “For better or for worse, for richer or poorer so long as we both shall grow and share.